*A real man is a woman's best friend. He will never stand her up and never let her down. He will reassure her when she feels insecure and comfort her after a bad day. He will inspire her to do things she never thought she could do; to live without fear and forget regret. He will enable her to express her deepest emotions and give in to her most intimate desires. He will make sure she always feels as though she's the most beautiful woman in the room and will enable her to be the most confident, sexy, seductive and invincible...

No wait . . .sorry. . . .

I'm thinking of wine It's wine that does all that shit. Never mind.

She crazy...?

Is it possible to have too many lemons? No, I thought not.

Yep, it's true...

Silence is Golden

Ductape is Silver

There comes a time in your life, when you walk away from all the drama and the people who create it. You surround yourself with people who make you laugh. Forget the bad, and focus on the good. Love the people who treat you right, hope for the ones who don't. ...Life is too short to be anything but happy. Falling down is a part of life, getting back up is living.

A Computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history with the possible exceptions of Tequila and Handguns.

*not my quote but words to live by

California King...

I am sick of the M*ther F*cking Snakes in my M*ther F*cking yard...

...just hope they stay away from my m*ther f*cking airplane..